


i'm bleeding out (for you)

by lincesque



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-23 09:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lincesque/pseuds/lincesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 gifts that Yancy gives & 1 he never does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm bleeding out (for you)

**Author's Note:**

> So. I tripped and accidentally 4k of OTP fic. I don't even.
> 
> Alpha'd by the amazing [Beans](http://archiveofourown.org/users/beancakes/pseuds/beancakes) and beta'd by the brilliant [Helle](http://gundamuubitch.tumblr.com). Thank you guys!
> 
> Title taken from Imagine Dragons' [Bleeding Out](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl-fALgJyaM), which is also basically the song I had on repeat whilst I wrote this. 
> 
> I just have a lot of feels okay (ノ; u ;)ノ彡┻━┻

 

**start**

*

 

**_1._ **

The first present is a bar of chocolate.

"Here," someone says and they're taking his hand and placing the small, rectangular package of Hersheys into it.

Tendo blinks at the man - blonde hair, blue eyed, almost as tired looking as Tendo feels - and curls his fingers over the plastic packaging almost unconsciously. He's been awake almost thirty hours dealing with a sudden coolant leak dangerously near the nuclear reactor on Gipsy Danger and thus can be forgiven for not recognising Yancy Becket, one of Gipsy's pilots, at first sight.

Becket smiles and despite the exhaustion written over his face along with the dirt and grime that covers his face and the dark patches of what looked suspiciously like coolant fluid on his leather jacket, the expression is still bright and friendly enough to draw an almost answering tilt of lips from Tendo.

"You look like you need it more than me," Becket says when Tendo has enough presence of mind to try and hand the highly valuable package back to him. He tucks his hands into the pockets of his jacket, grimacing a little at the stains that were probably never going to come out. "Besides, think of it as a thank you for taking care of my girl so well."

"'S my job," Tendo mumbles and feels much too tired to argue about chocolate, he tucks it away in his pocket and pretends he doesn't see the way Becket's smile widens at that.

"Get some sleep," Becket tells him, and places a hand over his shoulder. "The rest of the techs can handle it from here." Tendo can feel the heat of his palm through his thin, wrinkled shirt and he feels a prickle sweep over his skin at the sensation. He wonders why he doesn't feel the need to snap back about what could be taken as an insinuation that he couldn't do his own job properly. He attributes it to the fact that Becket looks like a fluffy golden retriever, with his mussed blonde hair and open features.

Tendo nods and waits until Becket drops his hand and turns away back to Gipsy before he takes his own leave, stumbling back to his room, already half asleep. He has enough presence of mind to lock his door, strip off his filthy shirt and kick off his shoes before falling face first into his tangle of blankets, still unmade from when he had been woken by the blaring alarm tone.

Despite his exhaustion, the phantom feel of warmth brushing over his shoulder remains with him, following him even into sleep.

 

*

 

_**2.** _

Becket shows up a couple more times whilst Tendo's running diagnostics or doing upgrades to systems. Both of them sometimes, but mostly it's Yancy, the older one.

"My brother would rather go drinking with his fellow pilots," Becket says when Tendo asks offhandedly one day. They're both crouched down low on the floor, peering up at a stubborn power cable that refuses to connect for some reason near Gipsy's left leg joint. Tendo has an electric screwdriver bit clamped between his teeth and heavy duty wrench inside his left pocket as he prods at the computer he had brought up with him. The electric screwdriver itself is abandoned to the side where Becket sits.

The red over the 3D blueprint tells him that his latest try hadn't worked either and Tendo sighs, running a hand through his hair. There's a cup of coffee, still steaming, to the left of his elbow, slightly out of reach so he wouldn't knock it over accidentally. Becket had brought it with him when he arrived and asked sheepishly if he could hang around and watch. It was meant to be a peace offering, Tendo had assumed.

Tendo spits out the bit and looks over at Becket. "And you'd rather get down and get your hands dirty?" There's a gentle bite of amusement to his tone. Tendo's been noticing lately that whenever any sort of major work is going on with Gipsy, Yancy Becket would be somewhere in the background, watching. He doesn't think it's because the pilot doesn't trust the techs, he figures it's more because Becket wants to know about his Jaeger, beyond just what piloting and deployment requires.

Becket shrugs one shoulder and there's a playful smile lurking at the corners of his lips. "Got nothing better to do, really."

Tendo grins back and briefly wonders absently if Becket would be interested in the preliminary blueprints that he had in his room for Gipsy even as he taps out another sequence to reroute the corrupted section.

The light goes green and Tendo does a small fist pump, the wrench falling out of his pocket, clattering loudly onto the floor. "Yes!"

Becket's hand falls easily across his shoulder when he offers a hearty pat of congratulations. "Good job, man.”

Becket opens his mouth, presumably to add something, but instead ends up frowning, head cocked towards the corridor. He sighs. “Hey, I’m sorry to just run off on you, but I've got to go. I can hear my brother calling me from here."

It's not an exaggeration. Tendo pauses in his typing and sure enough Raleigh Becket is yelling out his brother's name in the most obnoxious way possible from what sounded like three corridors down.

Becket's just pushing himself off the floor and ducking under the warning tape when Tendo calls to him.

"Hey, Becket," he says and gestures at the mug now cradled in his hand. "Thanks for the coffee and you know, the company." Tendo does not look away like a blushing maiden because he's only spoken the truth, after all. But he does feel warm and a little fuzzy when Becket's smile is turned towards him, full wattage.

"Call me Yancy," he says and drops a wink before sauntering towards the main hangar door.

 

*

 

_**3.** _

There’s a bag of coffee beans, the label boasting a brand that just happens to be Tendo's favourite and the one type of coffee he's been out of for months, sitting on his desk when he logs in one morning. He stares at it for one long moment, looking around warily to see if any of his techs thought it would be a funny joke to play. There's been stricter than normal rationing lately and a bag like that would be worth its weight in gold. It's only when he's raising the bag to inspect the contents closer that he spots the note that it came with, tucked beneath.

 _Tendo_ , the note starts, _I was out over the weekend and saw these. Thought you might like it._

It's not signed, but Tendo would recognise Yancy's almost illegible scrawl anywhere. He stares at the small bag for a moment, wondering what sort of game Yancy was playing, because he sure as hell hadn't just picked them up out at the local market. However, the lure of good coffee beans is too great and he's in the break room, grinding them down, less than five minutes later.

Yancy appears an hour later, after Tendo's basically inhaled three cups of coffee in a row and is brewing his fifth and sixth of the day whilst he finishes his fourth.

"Mornin'," Yancy says and he must've come straight from bed because his hair is still a mess and he still looks half asleep. He stands at the entrance to the tiny break room that the LOCCENT techs use, dressed in worn jeans and a loose t-shirt, doing his best to muffle a yawn with one hand.

Tendo feels embarrassed and just a little flustered for some reason, almost dropping the almost empty mug he holds. "Uh. Good morning," he replies, half a beat slow and takes the two final gulps of coffee to prevent himself from sounding dumber than he already was.

Yancy doesn't seem to notice, instead shuffling over to lean against the closest wall. It brings him perilously close to Tendo and their arms brush when Tendo puts down his now empty mug, finally, next to its twin. The coffee is percolating slowly through the filter and the warm scent of freshly brewed coffee almost covers the clean, sharp smell of soap and sandalwood that Tendo assumes is all Yancy.

"That smells great," Yancy says and Tendo looks up sharply but there's nothing more than a smile on Yancy's features, still as friendly and open as ever. He relaxes a little and allows himself a smile in return.

"Yeah, I got some real great coffee beans this morning," he says in response and watches carefully from the corner of his eye. However, apart from a subtle widening of his smile, Yancy gives away nothing.

Tendo pours the hot, dark liquid into the two mugs and hesitates for one brief moment before he takes down another cup and pours a third, nudging it towards Yancy. "Here, it looks like you need it."

Their hands brush when Yancy reaches out and Tendo doesn't quite move his hand away fast enough. Yancy's fingers are warm against his and Tendo bites at his lower lip. "Sorry. I uh." Calloused fingers tighten over his own and Yancy gives his hand another brief squeeze before letting go.

"Thanks for the coffee, Tendo," is all he says, saluting with his mug before walking out.

It leaves Tendo staring after him, still flustered and more than a little confused.

 

*

 

It becomes almost a game: Yancy dropping off thoughtful and sometimes outrageously bizarre things on Tendo's desk or hidden beneath the endless stacks of files and blueprints once a week, like clockwork.

And Tendo, in exchange, would spend anywhere from five minutes to five days trying to locate whatever 'gift' that Yancy had thought was amusing this week.

Raleigh has this knowing smirk that he greets Tendo with these days and some of the technicians rib him gently sometimes if they're around when Yancy's present of the week gets unearthed.

Tendo pretends they're all crazy and he's not secretly hoarding all of Yancy's presents like a teenage girl. He still pokes fun at Yancy every opportunity he gets, but even he's realised that his smiles are more fond and he touches him more than necessary. He tries to reign himself in, but Yancy doesn't seem to notice, or if he does, he sure doesn't seem to mind since he initiates his fair share of contact. His hand is almost always constantly on Tendo, around his shoulders, on his back, a gentle grip around his elbow when they're walking or even just standing with their shoulders and sides pressed tightly together.

Tendo can't admit that he enjoys the physical contact anymore than he can admit that he's nursing a full blown crush on Yancy Becket. It's possibly the worst decision he's ever made, and he's made a lot of dubious ones over the years.

But unlike those previous misendeavours, Tendo cannot bring himself to regret this one, especially when Yancy leans towards him with a slow, warm smile directed just at him.

 

*

 

_**4.** _

It's a year after that first chocolate bar when Tendo finds the envelope on his desk with his name scrawled on the front in Yancy's distinctive hand.

He opens it and a booking for one of the nicest restaurants in the area slides out, along with a scribbled note.

 _I like you_ , the note reads, _Will you go out with me?_ And below that there's a smaller line of script that says: _circle one_ , along with the letters Y and N.

It's endearingly juvenile and the possibly the cutest thing that anyone has ever written to him. He can feel the flush crawling up his neck to his cheeks and he laughs, softly. Tendo fumbles out a pen and scrawls a quick circle around the letter Y and adds a small note of his own to the bottom of the page.

_You're lucky I like you too, you overgrown child._

 

*

 

If Tendo had any misgivings about taking their easy, comfortable friendship to the next level, it vanishes after the first date.

Yancy's as charming as ever, all American good looks and soft, happy smiles. He walks Tendo back to his room after their date, despite Tendo’s incessant grumbling about the fact that he was no girl.

"But it's what you're supposed to do on first dates," Yancy tells him, painfully earnest.

Tendo huffs a laugh and attempts to look coy, lowering his lashes and peering out from beneath them. It probably looks stupid, but Yancy just sort of smiles soft and slow and fond.

"Is this all a ploy just to get into my pants, Mr. Becket?" Tendo asks.

Yancy flushes but his smile turns all sorts of wicked. "Well," he drawls, voice deepening appealingly, "not just into your pants, Mr. Choi."

Tendo kisses him then, one hand pulling Yancy down by the front of his shirt, the other on his shoulder, balancing himself as he leans up. Yancy kisses back and he kisses like he pilots - full of confident self-assurance with just a hint of aggression. His left arm slides around Tendo's waist and his right hand closes tight around his hip, fingers drawing him closer by the loops in his jeans until they’re flush against each other.

Their first kiss lasts until they both have to pull away to breathe and even then, Yancy keeps their foreheads pressed together, noses touching, breathing each other's air.

"That's hell of a goodnight kiss," Tendo says when he can finally speak again without embarrassing himself. He licks thoughtfully at his lower lip, secretly thrilled by the way Yancy's eyes fixate on that little motion.

"Are you going to invite me in?" Yancy asks, low and husky. He traces the curve of Tendo's lip with his thumb before leaning back down to kiss him again. They exchange slow, opened mouthed kisses until Tendo is warm and pliant in Yancy's arms, arms loose around his waist. "I've got plenty more to show you," Yancy murmurs even as Tendo turns around to fumble at the lock on his door.

"Well," he says, when the door finally swings open inwards, and he hooks fingers into Yancy's belt and pulls him, walking backwards until they're both inside and Yancy has the presence of mind to kick the door shut.

Tendo undoes the first button of his shirt, slow and careless, pleased at the way Yancy’s eyes darken immediately. "I can't say no to an offer like that now, can I?"

 

*

 

They’re ridiculously happy together.

Yancy’s never had a relationship that’s he’s been so invested in and Tendo’s never wanted anything else to work out more. They have their fights and arguments, but one of them always apologises and the other is always quick to follow. It’s gotten to the point where Raleigh’s taken to pulling grossed out faces behind their back whenever they’re together.

“Ew, I really don’t need to see this,” he whines when he wanders into the room he shares with Yancy after whatever party he had been to.

Tendo looks up from where he’s tucked into the crook of Yancy’s arm, attempting paperwork. Yancy doesn’t even look away from his book, just raises one hand and flips his younger brother off.

“Evening, Raleigh,” Tendo says, amused.

Raleigh settles next to him anyway, despite his exaggerated pout. “Didn’t  you have a private room, Tendo? Surely you guys can be disgustingly domestic there.”

Tendo tilts his head and appears to consider this. Then Yancy runs a hand through Tendo’s already mussed hair absently in passing when he turns the page of his book and Tendo grins. “Nah, bro, I’m perfectly comfortable here.”

Raleigh says nothing, just wrinkles his nose, but he picks up an abandoned folder for Gipsy’s upgrades and a pen before he promptly starts doodling in his own additions for the weapons systems. The three of them carry on in silence for a while, each doing their own thing.

If it were anyone else, Tendo figures he might get defensive at the constant ribbing about the relationship, but because it’s Raleigh, it doesn’t actually bother Tendo. He knows Raleigh’s only doing it for show. He’s actually seen Raleigh get physical with several people who’ve badmouthed him or Yancy or their relationship even offhand.

Sure enough, when the clock chimes midnight and Tendo reluctantly remembers that he has the early shift tomorrow morning in LOCCENT, Raleigh pulls him aside while Yancy’s distracted trying to find where Tendo’s jacket had gone.

“You know that I’m really happy for you two, right?” he says. His blue eyes are wide and he looks so much like Yancy in that moment that Tendo can’t do anything but grin and ruffle his hair.

“Don’t worry, Becket boy, I’ve got your number.” He winks and laughs when Raleigh pulls away, but not far enough that Tendo can’t reach him if he really wanted to.

Yancy strides back into the main room and jostles his brother out of the way, sliding a proprietary hand around Tendo’s hip. “Hey, no flirting. He’s mine.”

Raleigh’s eyebrows go way up even as Tendo’s laugh just grows. “Oh Yance, as if I would ever get in between your epic storybook romance and that happily ever after.”

Yancy leans down and kisses Tendo, a quick press of lips to his cheek and the expression in his eyes when he holds Tendo’s gaze can only be labelled as adoring.

“Yeah,” he says, soft. “There’s nothing that can stop our happily ever after.”

 

*

 

**_5._ **

The last present is in a tiny box, hidden below Tendo's pillow.

He finds it three days after Knifehead, when he finally gathers up enough courage to step back inside the room.

 _Tendo_ , the note reads, _I'm sorry I couldn't man up and do this in person, but think of it as part of our thing: me leaving you presents and you pretending that you don't know who they're from._

It hurts because Tendo can almost see the smile that Yancy gives when he's being mischievous, the tilt of of head when he's trying to be cute. He hears the note in Yancy's voice and he chokes back a sob.

 _This isn't the last present_ , the note continues, _but this is the most important. Tendo, you're the best thing that’s ever happened to me, the one who I had never imagined finding. You’re the one who grounds me and wherever you are, that’s where I call home._

 _I love you, Tendo_. And the rest of the words on the page blur when his tears finally fall. He exhales in a long shuddering breath and his fingers close around the small, velvet box. He knows, even without being able to see, what the final four words are, had known from the moment he saw the box.

His fingers tremble on the lid of the box but it lifts open easily enough and the ring that sits inside is heavy and gleaming still, despite the weak light. The symbol for eternity is carved inside the band.

Their happily ever after.

_Will you marry me?_

"Yes," he says, into the empty room filled with nothing but bittersweet memories. He sits on his bed, their bed, with the taste of salt on his lips and the cool press of a ring around his finger.

"You never even had to ask."

 

*

 

**_+1_ **

The move to Hong Kong wasn't unexpected, but it was unwelcome. Anchorage had been the first Shatterdome to be shut down and Tendo, standing in the control room of Hong Kong’s Shatterdome, overlooking the last four Jaegers, their last line of defense, had known that this day had been a long time coming.

"I'm bringing back Raleigh Becket," Pentecost says to him one night, when it's just the two of them left in the LOCCENT control room shutting down everything for the night. Tendo stills but apart from that, doesn't show any other outward sign of surprise. He's had five years to distance himself from the pain but like all things, it works better some days than others.

"He was always an exceptional pilot," Tendo replies, voice neutral. He lifts a shoulder in a shrug, as careless as he can manage. "I thought you might, especially when you allowed Mako to restore Gipsy Danger."

Pentecost studies him, Tendo can feel the probing gaze, but he keeps his chin up and doesn't let himself turn away. He knows that this is Pentecost's way of gauging if he'd be okay to act as mission control for the final charge.

Tendo straightens his shoulders and meets Pentecost's gaze head on. "He's a good choice, especially for our last stand." _I can do this_ , are the unspoken words he doesn’t need to say.

Pentecost nods, both in confirmation and silent acknowledgement. "He'll be arriving in a week. Mako will help him settle in."

"I'll be there, sir," Tendo says and watches Pentecost leave, only slumping back against the wall once his superior officer is out of sight.

He touches the ring on his finger and knows that some days, he's better at lying to himself than others. Because five years is nothing, nowhere near enough time to fix his shattered heart.

 

*

 

Raleigh’s not quite the same cocky kid he had seen suiting up just before Knifehead. He’s quieter and if his eyes - the blue shade a mirror copy of Yancy's, Tendo doesn't think - are more shadowed, Tendo doesn't say a word.

He comes to find him like Tendo knew he would. They are content to let silence reign for a brief moment, both of them staring out into the hanger, towards Gipsy. She gleams, polished panels and all, perfect in every way. Except that one of her pilots is forever gone.

"Mako did a good job," Raleigh says, settling in next to Tendo. Their shoulders brush and Tendo can't help the way he freezes or the way his hands tremble until he tightens his fingers against the railing.

"Tendo." Raleigh's voice is soft, apologetic. "I'm sorry."

Tendo shakes his head. "It's not your fault. It's just that you -" _Look so much like him standing there and I -_

"He wanted to give you everything," Raleigh says, voice low. His tone would be conversational if not for the stiff, stilted way his words form.

Tendo's breath hitches. "Please, Raleigh. I can't -" This conversation is hurting them both and still Raleigh doesn't stop.

"You need to know," Raleigh says. "This is what I should've told you five years ago. But instead, I was too much of a coward and I ran." Tendo falls silent but doesn't stop begging internally, asking for Raleigh to stop, to leave the wound alone. But the Becket boys have never listened to an order they didn't want to and Raleigh is no exception.

He reaches out, takes Tendo's wrist gently and the ring flashes even here, where there's so little light. "He showed me, you know, the engraving." Raleigh tries for a laugh and it sounds forced, unsteady. "He was going to have Gipsy's logo carved on there, but in the end, he decided on that particular one."

"Raleigh."

"He wanted to give you the world. He wanted to give you eternity," Raleigh tells him and his eyes are wet, voice choked. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for not bringing him home."

Tendo shakes his head. "Don't be," he says simply and although he still cannot bear to bring himself to touch Raleigh, he offers a smile, as best as he can.

He thinks about everything that he and Yancy had and doesn't think about the future they never will have. Tendo's grown old and wise and just bitter enough to know that words like 'if' and 'but' and 'could've been' only pave the way to madness.

He closes his eyes and doesn't move when Raleigh touches his arm gently before leaving, the sound of his steady footsteps retreating back into the corridor, leaving Tendo alone with the silence once more.

 _It's enough_ , Tendo thinks, even though it’s nothing like the happily ever after he had been promised.

"It's enough to know," he repeats again, out loud, and finds that, yes, those words are just enough.

_Until we meet again._

 

*

 

**end**

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on [tumblr](http://tumbloncat.tumblr.com)~ 
> 
> Feel free to just come and poke me (◕‿◕✿)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [and i'm all alone (without you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/925561) by [beancakes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beancakes/pseuds/beancakes)




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